October 18, 2008
Christina

I had a graduation of sorts at 40 years old this week …I was diagnosed an official card carrying Type 2 Diabetic, upgraded from Pre-Diabetic. Looking back, I had 20 good years of manageable Hypoglycemia before it switched. Being diagnosed was such a surreal experience for me. I have charted my daily glucose numbers steadily climbing, witnessed my body changing, and I’ve been hearing that nagging voice in my gut that things have changed. I knew my chances were high. After all, my mom had it for 25 years and just passed-on from the complications this past February; but knowing all that still doesn’t prepare you for the punch in the stomach when you actually hear the words.

I had a graduation of sorts at 40 years old this week …I was diagnosed an official card carrying Type 2 Diabetic, upgraded from Pre-Diabetic. Looking back, I had 20 good years of manageable Hypoglycemia before it switched. Being diagnosed was such a surreal experience for me. I have charted my daily glucose numbers steadily climbing, witnessed my body changing, and I’ve been hearing that nagging voice in my gut that things have changed. I knew my chances were high. After all, my mom had it for 25 years and just passed-on from the complications this past February; but knowing all that still doesn’t prepare you for the punch in the stomach when you actually hear the words.

The doctor was talking to me about possibly taking insulin or orals and showing me that my A1C jumped from 6.1 to 7.3 in 1 year, but I was still spinning from the words. So what is in a name/label/diagnosis anyway? We all have labels, a ton of terms that color us. Each label is relatively accurate “in its own way” as they highlight fragments of us from their unique vantage points. Think of it as if you shined a tiny pen-light onto a person, you would only see a minute 1” section of their body and nothing else. That tiny image is totally valid but it’s only when you combine all the fragments together and see the whole person is it complete in all of its glory.

For me, my labels have definitely changed at different stages in my life and rightly so. I think they show the natural process or evolution that I’ve paid for with each wrinkle & grey hair. In my 20’s some of my labels were probably: idealistic, stubborn, only-child, guarded, & over-achiever. In my 30’s: wanting, searching for solid ground, burnt-out, & angry. Today I would probably show up as: hopeless romantic, daring to open up, Acupuncturist, 40-something, loyal, still stubborn as hell, tender…and yes…a Diabetic.

So even though Type 2 Diabetic is now part of my descriptive pallet, it is only 1 of my many colors. The trick is to choose…what do I want to paint with it?