September 1, 2008
Sarah

So I have to admit, August hasn’t been the easiest month. I’ve had many frustrations arise in diabetes, in training, and in life in general. I’ve also learned that sometimes you just have to deal with those frustrations, there is not always a quick easy solution, and that it’s not always that easy.

I finished my first triathlon and I felt better than I had in a long time. I was excited to continue training and try to do even better at my next tri that I had signed up for with some fellow type 1’s in October…two days later I fell off my bike and broke my elbow.
So this was the start of my August. I had x-rays taken, was given some pain meds, and told that I would probably need surgery. I was scheduled to see the orthopedic doctor on a Monday the following week to schedule surgery, but by Thursday the stress of the injury was catching up with my body and my blood sugars went crazy. This then caused what I call a ‘snowball effect’. My blood sugars were running higher than normal, which caused my gastroparesis to flare up. I woke up extremely nauseous Thursday morning and by that afternoon had started into a full-blown gastroparesis attack. I was throwing up and knew it wasn’t going to stop so I told my mom it was time to go to the ER. After a week in the hospital I finally could keep food down and was released back home. I had surgery on my elbow and now am in the long recovery process.

My blood sugars throughout this whole time have been the most frustrating part. Every time I check my blood sugar I get anxious, not knowing if it’s going to be high or low. There’s been many times when I just don’t want to test because I know how upset I will get if it’s not what I want it to be. But I know I can’t do that either. Frustrating.

I couldn’t workout for three weeks and my training came to a halt. I snack throughout the day but realized it wasn’t as easy because even miniscule amounts of carbs were spiking my blood sugar. I’m pretty sure this was to my lack of exercise so I was constantly adjusting my insulin. Finally, about a week ago I was able to start doing some cardio and now I’m dealing with lows and adjusting insulin once again because the exercise component is back. Sometimes I felt as though I just couldn’t win, I was either running high or running low. Frustrating.

I noticed that when I first started training to do a triathlon it sort of became a small obsession. I would look forward to my training sessions everyday trying new things to see what would work better and how hard I could push myself. It became a part of my life and I really enjoyed it. Every Sunday I would schedule out my week, usually planning things around workouts that I really wanted to do. This also came to a halt and found myself going stir crazy with boredom. Not only could I not train, but also I really couldn’t even leave the house (I just got cleared to drive last week). I read, watched movies, etc, but being so inactive drove me insane. Again, frustrating.
It took me a while to just accept that I had broken my arm. I knew there was nothing I could do about it but at first I kept thinking ‘why me?’, ‘why now?’ It made me re-adjust the routine that I had fallen into over the summer and I hated that. I’m the kind of person who does well with routine (as I’m sure most diabetics can relate to, as it almost HAS to be a part of our life). I could no longer wake up and do my morning yoga routine. I couldn’t even make myself my morning cup of chai because of the lack of two hands. I missed my first week of school because I was in the hospital with the gastroparesis attack. I missed the long-awaited and anticipated Tour de Cure (I apologize for not coming to meet all you guys, I was really looking forward to it!) and I also will not be able to participate in the triathlon in October. And once again, this is all very FRUSTRATING.

But! I don’t want to sound like this entire blog is going to be me complaining and whining about what has happened to me over the past month. I think it has taught me a lot. First, I have learned a lot about my body and insulin needs. I know now that stress on my body can trigger gastroparesis attacks and I hope in the future I can do more to prevent them before they start. Diabetes is a constant adjustment and I have learned to take it day by day when it starts to get hard and not to beat myself up about it if I’m not perfect 100% of the time. Second, I have learned that if you’re an athlete most likely you’re gonna get injured at some point. It happens to everyone and you can’t let it discourage you. Healing takes time, but it will happen eventually and you just have to be patient. I missed the Tour and I will miss a triathlon, but in the big picture, that’s not much. I will do the tour next year and (of course!) be doing a triathlon with all you ladies! And lastly, I’ve learned- life happens. A lot of the time it is out of your control so you have to do your best and adjust to whatever is thrown your way. (A lot like being diagnosed with diabetes). I know I can’t change the past so why dwell? It will not do me any good, it will not change things, and will just make me miserable. So (and I know this sounds cliché) when life throws lemons at you (and throws them hard) make lemonade! (with sweet and low, of course!).

I am now in the process of re-building. I am slowly starting to exercise again, I will be going back to school this week, my blood sugars are FINALLY starting to level out, and I am SO excited to be helping out with Diabetes Training Camp next week! I am anxious and excited to start the Team WILD training in October…by then I’ll be chomping at the bits to get back into it!!!