July 21, 2008
Lorrie

Back in May, I participated in the Indianapolis ½ marathon. Prior to this event, I had never imagined running that far. I could easily do 5K and 10K runs, but 13.1 miles seemed like it would be impossible to complete. I trained for about 4 months to prepare for the event and felt pretty confident I wouldn't have a problem finishing those 13.1 miles.

The morning of the event, I was feeling pretty good. I felt that I had prepared in every way possible, including keeping blood glucose levels in normal range during my training runs. Then, the worst thing happened. A half hour prior to the start, my continuous glucose monitor started alarming me. I quickly took a peek and started to panic. It showed that I was quickly trending downward toward the low spectrum of the normal range. I couldn't believe it. How was this possible? I had planned for everything. In the past, whenever I participated in a 5K or sprint distance triathlon, my blood glucose readings usually started off on the high end of the spectrum due to nerves and that adrenaline rush. Now I had the opposite thing happening and had to deal with it quickly. I started taking glucose tablets and drinking Gatorade. I also lowered my temp basal on my pump to even lower than I had originally set it.
Finally, at the start of the run, my blood glucose levels were going upward. However, this occurrence completely distracted me from focusing on the run. I lost all confidence in the run and struggled to complete it. I did finish, but I wasn't happy at all with my performance. I was embarrassed about my overall time and felt so sick at the end because I over compensated with Gatorade and didn't have enough insulin on board because I had lowered my temp basal too much. I quickly said to my friends who ran as well, that I would never do this again.

The following Monday, I was back in the gym with all of my friends. Our trainer asked us to write our finish times on a board. I just couldn't do it. The memories of that race left me ashamed because my time was slower than everyone else's. I couldn't bare to see it as a reminder of how terrible I had done each time I was in the gym. A couple of weeks later, as I was flipping through a magazine, I stumbled upon this quote from Tiger Woods. I can't remember the exact quote, but it read something like this: "Tomorrow I will be better than I am today...That's the beauty of tomorrow. There's no such thing as a setback." This quote re-energized me. Yeah, I had a setback, but it was time to move on. Everyone has setbacks, and even though I had a terrible run, I should be happy that I completed it and didn't give up, even though I felt like I was going to die.

My goals have shifted since that run a few months back. I've stopped focusing on comparing my abilities to others. Who cares if someone can swim faster, cycle better, and run like a gazelle? I want to feel confident that I can finish strong. I don't want diabetes to get in the way of just going out and performing the best I can.
When I read about the triathlon team forming, I was re-energized yet again. I immediately thought that this is something that I want to be part of and didn't hesitate to join the team. I haven't stopped talking about it with my friends. I too want to help inspire, support and achieve along with other women with diabetes. I want to learn from others and share what I learn. I want to support and be supported. I want to pay-it-forward. Team WILD has a wonderful mission and I am so looking forward to being part of it.