September 12, 2009
Kathleen

Women who are unable to come to Texas (regardless of the reason): You will be missed and my thoughts are with you b/c I just know this must have been a hard decision for each of you to make. This was definitely a hard commitment for me to keep and there were many times I thought I would drop out so I can appreciate what you went through to come to your final decision. Big hugs from SF.

My personal reflections and some thoughts that have gotten me through this ever changing year (both with our team and my own life) are:

• I can’t believe that I have been doing this tri thing for over a year! I have never worked so hard both mentally and physically and this journey has been very rewarding even though EXTREMELY challenging.

• I am so proud of myself for getting out there every single day despite my real dislike for running, my lack of cycling skills, lingo and equipment and my fear that the sea lions in SF Bay are going to get me one of these days. My learning curve was huge and my fears numerous!

• Who knew I had the mental strength to go back each week to track with the “young kids” on my local tri team? I’m by far the slowest. I’ve improved but so has everyone else so I’m still dead last! That gets old fast and quite honestly, kinda sucks. But, I do it. Every week, week after week after week since February. How great am I to show up regardless of my total embarrassment, a few tears, high blood sugars, low blood sugars and slow feet?

• I have learned so much about my body and my diabetes; real life information that I can take with me into my day to day life. Not that stuff they teach you in school and you think “When will I ever use this again?!” Applicable information that I recently passed on to a mom of a young girl with type 1 trying out for cross country track. I’m paying it forward! Yay!

• My friends and family are so proud of me. No matter how old we get there’s just something validating about those you love telling you, “I’m so proud of YOU!” I could cry writing that. Ok, I am crying (sniff sniff).

Yes, being a member of this team has been part of the inspiration and motivation but quite honestly….even if no one else shows up…..I will still be there continuing this journey. Celebrating the commitment that I made to myself. I mean let’s face it, it’s ME that gets ME out of bed each morning.

While there is always a bigger picture, a greater good……if it’s not personally resonating with me then what’s the point? It’s the personal challenges and successes that helped me keep this commitment to ME to continue training, to continue spending a ton of money on training and to go to Texas.

While I understand the importance of a large contingent re the Team message, future of the Team, etc……the personal growth and feeling successful for me is the same whether we are 20, 19, 2 or 1.

This experience has forever changed me and I look forward to sharing it with all of you (and my friends, family and supporters) whether it is physically in Texas or virtually on the web.